SQL Dumbass

Fighting dumbasses, one query at a time…

Stop Me Before I Kill Someone

I just had a person come to me and explain that we have a month end this Friday. Last time we had a month end on a friday, the database dumps were “lost”…


Me: “What do you mean by ‘lost’?”


Them: “I don’t know, but when we needed to do a restore, they weren’t there.”


Me: “Which one of the dumps? (they have four to choose from)”


Them: ‘I don’t know. It could have been the 7pm. Or the 4am.”


Me: “Well, the 4am is overwritten nightly, so that makes sense, and has always been the case. But the 7pm would be unusual.”


Them: “Exactly. So we need you to make sure that nothing weird happens this Friday.”


Me: “Excuse me? How do you expect me to guarantee that nothing weird will happen this Friday? On Halloween?”


Them: “We don’t know.”


Me: “So, you don’t know what happened previously, and you want me to guarantee that whatever may or may not have happened before, will not happen again this Friday. Is that correct?”


Them: “Yes. Let us know when you have it all worked out.”


Me: “You’ll be the first to know.”