Sadly, this is true
Posted by Chameau at 8/2/2008 9:05 AM and is filed under uncategorized 
Things had been quiet for a few days, and I was getting used to coming to work, having time to get a cup of coffee, chat with my cubical (in)mates, and work on some much needed items that allow for our team to be proactive with regards to our enterprise. I should have known that the walls would come crashing down, right?
And there it was. A desperate email from a developer. He needed help immediately. Of course, true to form, he did not provide any details about what the issue was, instead he just directs us to the solution.
"Please delete the log for database [dbname]".
Uh...ok. My first thought was "how?" In most cases, even if you did remove the log, MSSQL would create a new one when it starts up the database (at least I know you can attach a database without a log). At any rate, after I stopped daydreaming about the "how", I then started to wonder "why"? This was quickly followed by my thinking "what an idiot". So, I was moving through all the typical stages of emotions that DBA's usually have. First, wonderment "how many ways is this possible, and what is the best one"? Then, curiosity "tell me more about the thought process that got you here". Lastly followed by "what an idiot".
I then imagined what would happen if I actually did delete the log. The conversation would be similar to:
Him: "I am still having problems, but now they seem worse. Did you delete the log like I asked?"
Me: "Yes."
Since that scenario was not about to win me any customer service awards, I decided to tell the developer that deleting a log was not advisable. Turns out that did not win me any awards either.
Him: "What do you mean, we have the logs deleted all the time."
Me: "Really? Do you really mean deleted, or are you asking for the log to be truncated?"
Him: "What's the difference?"
At this point I am considering calling Microsoft Learning and urging them to revoke the certifications that this developer has "earned". At the very least an investigation should be opened. To think that this certified developer does not understand the difference only makes me wonder what other things do they not understand.
Dumbass.
And there it was. A desperate email from a developer. He needed help immediately. Of course, true to form, he did not provide any details about what the issue was, instead he just directs us to the solution.
"Please delete the log for database [dbname]".
Uh...ok. My first thought was "how?" In most cases, even if you did remove the log, MSSQL would create a new one when it starts up the database (at least I know you can attach a database without a log). At any rate, after I stopped daydreaming about the "how", I then started to wonder "why"? This was quickly followed by my thinking "what an idiot". So, I was moving through all the typical stages of emotions that DBA's usually have. First, wonderment "how many ways is this possible, and what is the best one"? Then, curiosity "tell me more about the thought process that got you here". Lastly followed by "what an idiot".
I then imagined what would happen if I actually did delete the log. The conversation would be similar to:
Him: "I am still having problems, but now they seem worse. Did you delete the log like I asked?"
Me: "Yes."
Since that scenario was not about to win me any customer service awards, I decided to tell the developer that deleting a log was not advisable. Turns out that did not win me any awards either.
Him: "What do you mean, we have the logs deleted all the time."
Me: "Really? Do you really mean deleted, or are you asking for the log to be truncated?"
Him: "What's the difference?"
At this point I am considering calling Microsoft Learning and urging them to revoke the certifications that this developer has "earned". At the very least an investigation should be opened. To think that this certified developer does not understand the difference only makes me wonder what other things do they not understand.
Dumbass.
This is Typical DBA response to a genuine problem - just mock the guy who doesn't have your specialist knowledge. The guy had probably given up asking for real advice from a DBA years ago. I can imagine how this went: Q."Why does my logfile keep growing and using up all the disk space" DBA gives no help, but offers to 'truncate' it. Q."After you truncated the log, how come its still taking up 95% of the space it did before" DBA gives no help. Q."Can't we just delete it" DBA - no can't possibly do that. Then one day - the DBA is on holiday, another contract DBA does what we want - detach, delete logfile, reattach. it seems to have no deleterious effects - so it becomes the "standard" solution to when the logfile has grown too big - developer goes away happy. The next time it happens, Mr original 'no help' DBA is back.
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Sounds like we hit a nerve. Try not to take everything you read here at SQLDumbass personally. Most of the DBA's that contribute here are very helpful, even if you are an idiot. They will go out of their way time and again trying to help those that want help, but that still does not stop us from shaking our heads in disbelief.
I am certain not all DBA's are perfect, but I am also certain not all developers are either. At the end of the day, if you cannot laugh at yourself, then you need a vacation.
You should also understand that stories being related in a blog do not always come through as well as if they are told personally. In other words, if we were at the pub having a beer we could swap the same stories and you would not come away with the same feeling as if you had read the story on a blog.
It sounds as if you are frustrated with your current DBA, but I am willing to bet if you spent more time together you would develop a strong working relationship. In the case here, what you are not aware of is that this developer routinely shuns details. For example, after filling up the log once, they demanded that their database be put into simple mode in order to avoid the disk from filling up again. We tried to explain what is meant by simple recovery mode to which they replied "I don't need to know those technical details, just make sure the disk doesn't fill up again." Now, this is a developer that walks around proudly displaying their MCSD designation. Sorry, but what solutions are they certified to develop such that they do not have an understanding of transactions, recovery mode, etc.?
We are not asking them to know everything, only a fool would expect someone to know everything. What we are asking for is that they have a desire to learn things, to not be stubborn, and admit mistakes when they happen. And yes, the same can be said of DBA's.
Enjoy the rest of the stories. If you would like to contribute, let us know. SQLDumbass is about anything related to SQL, so it can be a post about developers, Microsoft, or DBA's. It doesn't matter, we just want to protect identities, but share some funny stories. If you want to rant about your DBA, then this is the place to do it.
So, don't get your knickers in a twist about what you read here!
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