SQL Dumbass

Fighting dumbasses, one query at a time…

Turbo Button

This is an old story and one I could have repeated many times over the years.

There was an application developer who was testing one of his queries (amazing) and while he was waiting, asked if there was anything I can do to help the query run faster that he was running.  So instead of giving the usual answer of looking at the execution plan and optimizing it, I told him he should hit the turbo button.  This would help speed up his query on the server by 50%.  After a brief 30 seconds of trying to show him the fake key strokes, I said, ‘There is no turbo button smart developer (different words were used), try performance tuning your query.

It is amazing that a developer would think he could hit a button to increase the speed of their code.  It makes you really think about what they view as reality when it comes to optimizing the code.