SQL Dumbass

Fighting dumbasses, one query at a time…

The Analyst From Hell and the Never-Ending Meeting

I was sitting in a meeting room along with two application analysts.  They called the meeting for the purpose of reviewing a new application we were migrating towards.  Both the current product and the new product were dependent on SQL databases so I was involved from a standpoint of the DBA.  Both analysts were from the same team and were in the process of a warm hand-off since the two products would be under the responsibility of different analysts from an application standpoint.

We reviewed schedules, database specifications, security items, networking issues, and hardware requirements.  The nature of the database warranted hosting the database on a dedicated database server and the application footprint would reside on its own application server.  We discussed these hardware requirements for at least 30 minutes of the 45 minutes spent in the meeting.  Both analysts have been with the company for years, handling quite a few applications each.  Sure, the one was a little flighty, but she was on her best behavior during the meeting so far.  My opinion of meetings is well noted in my company.  To me they serve no purpose other than to waste time and hone PowerPoint skills.  However this meeting was progressing nicely.

“This is great, there are no questions; we’ll be done with this meeting 15 minutes early!” I thought. 

As I was gathering my notes and coffee mug I stood up and then heard THE QUESTION.  Nothing good has come from a question that starts with the four words I heard uttered by “Ms. Flighty” but they escaped her lips nonetheless.

“I was just wondering,” she voiced up as my hand was on the door knob of the conference room, “What is the difference between a Database Server and an Application Server?”

The meeting ran for another 45 minutes while I went an led a 100-level IT class for Ms. Flighty and her teammate who shot daggers from her eyes for the better part of the extended meeting.  Did I mention that Ms. Flighty was an application analyst for well over 10 years at various companies?